How to explain IFS to your clients

Internal Family Systems is a therapeutic model that focuses on understanding and healing the various parts within a person's internal world. According to IFS, we all have different parts within us that carry different thoughts, emotions, and beliefs. These parts can sometimes conflict with each other and create internal struggles and difficulties in our lives.

To explain IFS to clients, you can use the analogy of a family. Just like a family is made up of different individuals with their own unique personalities and roles, our internal world is composed of different parts. Each part has its own specific qualities, desires, and intentions.

Here are the key components of the Internal Family Systems model:

1. Self: The Self is the core or essence of a person. It represents qualities like compassion, wisdom, and curiosity. The Self is not affected by the challenges or conflicts of the different parts but remains steady and centered.

2. Parts: Parts are the different aspects or subpersonalities within us. They can be thought of as different characters within the internal family. Some examples of parts might include the Inner Critic, the Inner Child, the Pleaser, the Protector, or the Perfectionist. Each part has its own unique role and purpose.

3. Exiles: Exiles are wounded or vulnerable parts that hold painful emotions, memories, or traumatic experiences. These parts often carry unresolved pain from the past and are often hidden or pushed away to protect the individual from further harm.

4. Managers: Managers are parts that try to control or protect us from experiencing the pain carried by the exiles. They are proactive and often take charge in order to keep things under control. Examples of managers include the Perfectionist, the Controller, or the Rationalizer.

5. Firefighters: Firefighters are parts that emerge in response to overwhelming emotions or situations. They engage in impulsive or distracting behaviors to provide immediate relief or escape from distress. Examples of firefighters might include excessive alcohol or substance use, self-harm, or binge eating.

The goal of IFS therapy is to establish a healthy and balanced relationship between the different parts of ourselves and the core Self. The therapist helps the client develop a compassionate and curious stance towards their internal parts, fostering understanding, empathy, and healing.

Through the IFS process, clients can learn to recognize and communicate with their parts, understand their roles, and ultimately transform their relationships with these parts. By cultivating a harmonious internal system, clients can experience increased self-acceptance, self-compassion, and overall well-being.

It's important to note that explaining IFS to clients may require further exploration and discussion, as each person's internal system is unique. Therapists should adapt their explanation based on the client's specific needs, and ongoing therapeutic work can help clients deepen their understanding and integration of the IFS model.

Rule of thumb: I always try to get my client to experience it first then I bring in the education.